The legendary pairing of candy and politics goes back many years, to a time known to historians as the Swingin’ 80’s… a time when then-president and former California governor Ronald Reagan declared his love for a locally produced jelly bean. The company skyrocketed from there, as the two built a powerful and long-lasting relationship.
Yes, the Ex-Prez never looked so delicious.
Hoping to follow in his footsteps, and perhaps soak in some of that mighty Reagan aura, is one Rick Santorum, who hosted a $1000 a plate fundraiser (and I thought The Olive Garden’s prices were unreasonable…) at the world famous Jelly Belly factory in Fairfield. Because what says “underdog Republican comeback” like a giant jelly bean diving into an empty lobby?
Big Rick was met by a few hundred enthusiastic supporters, who gathered in the “Wild Cherry Room” to hear his talking points.
For over 30 minutes, The Rickster rambled on about Obama’s failures, Iran’s grave threats and the dangers of contraception. He was met with cheers, coupled with one minor jeer… a protester (wearing a Santorum 2012 sticker) interrupted the speech by shouting chants along the lines of “Californians stand for marriage equality!”
She was so loud that it seemed like Secret Service (who was there) would swoop in and silence her before it became too big of a deal… but they didn’t seem to do anything. After about a minute of her shouts, some of the Santorum supporters came to the back and asked her to quiet down. She did not, and after another minute or two, they finally corralled her out the door. Where the hell were the tazers when you need them, eh?!
After the speech concluded, Santorum made his way around the room offering the typical shaking-hands-and-kissing-babies fare. Media folk like myself moved in with hopes of catching a quick Q-and-A before he made his way out. For some reason, he seemed to ignore the media completely, acting as if the bright lights and mics weren’t being prodded into his face. Could this possibly be the result of last week’s Bullsh*t gaff?? If only he had visited the week before, it could have been my question that got him to cuss!!
Not that it really matters, because when it comes down to it, Santorum doesn’t stand a chance. Not because H.W. endorsed Romney at the same time, but because he’s been hit with my curse. You see, every presidential candidate I’ve covered in my professional career – Dean, Romney, McCain – went on to lose in the election. Yes, Santorum has been hit with the Photocalypse curse, and I’m afraid there’s no cure.
Except, perhaps, for a massive intake of jelly beans within a short amount of time. I can only assume that’s what he’s been doing for the past several hours, because (thanks to the complementary sample bowl) that’s all I’ve been up to. My tummy hurts…
