Attention Reader(s?):
It has come to our attention here at The Lenslinger Institute that our feckless founder can’t find his focus. This conclusion was reached after much deliberation, protracted staff meetings and the unfortunate surfacing of a video which clearly shows you-know-who offering black market wedding video lessons to a confidential informant. We here at TLI regret any loss of street cred suffered from our leader’s lapse of judgement and we’re especially sorry about his unplugged karaoke performance of ‘Every Rose Has Its Thorn’. Really, the man has no discernible musical talent and he looks positively ridiculous in a star-spangled bandanna. While no ‘medical’ examination has been preformed, we fear the artist formerly known as Lenslinger has, for the moment, misplaced his mojo. Perhaps it was the recent loss of his favorite light stand, constant exposure to non-linear timelines or the spectacular lack of uproar surrounding the recent publication of his poetry book “I Know Why the Caged Turd Slings”.
Whatever the reason, it has become clear our leader cannot continue down this dangerous path, lest he further devolve into the once promising but now totally nut-bag personality disorder made most famous by the likes of Howard Hughes, Gary Busey and Michael Rosenblum. Thus, we have taken the liberty of sequestering mankind’s leading Schmuckologist in a softly padded cell here in the bowels of The Lenslinger Institute, in hopes he’ll see his way through this mental torpor and once again grace us with unfunny photog screeds, pointless top ten lists and the occasional self-serving sermon. It is our great hope that he do this soon, otherwise the diminishing demand for said web detritus will convince our mercurial leader it’s finally time to pull he plug on this labor of love and devote his remaining energies to polishing his expansive press pass collection.
Meanwhile, know that your newsroom boredom, photog lounge downtime and smartphone fondling habits are of utmost concern to us and and as an act of good faith we offer full and total recompense to any reader who feels cheated by this sudden lack of free updates. Simply dial 1-800-PISS-OFF and wait for the far flung operator to begin berating you for making the effort. We’d like to offer some kind of launch date for the new and improved Viewfinder BLUES, but until Old Whatshisnuts stops feeling sorry for himself and starts answering our texts, we’d only be spit-ballin’. However, it remains our firm belief that this period of transition will well be worth it, for said ‘Slinger in Chief is a good (and only occasionally delusional) man of infinite syllables and limited intellect. We wish there was an easier way to jump start dude’s muse, but after a thirty minute search of the iTunes archive, we’ve determined there’s simply no app for that…
Courage!
— Senior Advisory Committee, Photogs Anonymous (San Juan Chapter)
