ATTENTION: We here at The Lenslinger Institute do not condone the use of physical violence toward assailants of the Fourth Estate. We DO, however, reserve the right to watch, mock and propagate any found footage of such unfortunate instances – especially when they feature flying fluids, saturated accents and one scary-ass skullet. Let’s get started, shall we?

Dateline: Down Under… At least, that’s where we think this clip comes from. Truth is, we thought the speakers in the Institute’s trophy room were shot, until that guy from Accounts Receivable noticed the WIN Television logo on the photog’s back. Australia, huh? THAT’S why they talk so funny! Good thing the plot’s not lost in translation, for true whup-ass transcends dialect. For example, listen to the news shooter when said inbred serves him the unrequested beverage. The P-Word I get, but the rest is all pops and clicks. Perhaps the soda-spraying naysayer felt the same, for he turns around seeking clarification. Bad move, Riff-Raff. The ‘cammo’ in question is all out of pejoratives and instead chooses to express himself with his two beefy mitts. What follows is predictable enough. Mr. Refreshment chucks his can in anger, forcing the photog to show the man to his seat – which in this case is a particular piece of pavement between two parked cars. That’s when it happens: a sound so sweet it reminds of us a summer rain. (Listen for yourself at :26.) Impact… exasperation… flatulence? Whatever the case, it is deeply satisfying. You know, if we approved of such a thing…  

Schmuck!