In an industry that keeps hiring younger and cheaper, it’s almost impossible to age gracefully. And while I’m no longer the Velociphotog I was once was, I’m not quite to the Schleposaurus stage. So while I decide whether to chase another news story onto the fruitless plain or merely stumble off into the tar-pits, let’s review the Top Ten Signs You’ve Been Shooting News Too Long…

10) Your first station-issued cell phone came with its own battery belt.

9) You were already working in television the year some of your current reporters were born.

8) You still feel bad about those silly-ass Y2K stories.

7) You remember when the station website was a test pattern.

6) That new photog makes you want to call everyone you worked with when you were twenty-two and apologize.

5) You’d pay good money for a few hours with a working three-quarter inch video deck.

4) You vividly remember quizzing strangers on camera about the shocking new Madonna Sex book.

3) You’ve spent a fifth of a century on-call.

2) You’ve watched the smartest people you ever worked with run like hell from this insipid business.

 And the Number One Sign You’ve Been Shooting News Too Long…

1) You find yourself writing about it on the internet.