MISSING: Habitual lenser, recently seen loitering outside Greensboro’s federal courthouse. Answers to “RAD”, “TV Tog” and “Dude, is that thing heavy?”. Often seen schooling news crews at emergency scenes. Subject has profound attachment to his little yellow lunchbox. High intelligence,  low regard for rental authorities. Frequents Radio Shacks, kayak launches and picnic shelters with electrical outlets. Well versed in helicopter etiquette. Broad mastery of gadgets, doesn’t always match his clothes properly. Chronic line-jumper. Expects full access to crime scenes, cockpits and pottery shows. Favors sunrises, avoids spin classes. Rarely spotted in juice bars. Believes himself to be part of ‘a vast network’. Last seen elbowing senior citizens out of way at remote butterfly ranch in North Carolina. Approach with caution: Subject tweets with a single pinky and could snap at any moment. Use of tranquilizer darts authorized. Reward negotiable. On second thought, forget I mentioned it.