Okay...this probably will come off as harsh but let's use this as a learning critique to grow. First, I saw this was an investigation...are you normally an investigative photog? Or are you a GA photog who got to shot an investigation? I ask because if you're an investigative photog this is very poor showing (critique to come) but if you're a GA photog then I can tell you're trying but you have a long way to go (critique to come). Big differance. And its a big differance in how each of those photogs see the story/world. The intro was weird, for a lack of a better word. You used unnecessary video effects and you should have stuck with one thing...wether its a nat intro of prayer, or singing, or whatever. When you start to combine the elements it gets weird and muddled. Much more effective to use one element to draw in the viewer and set the tone for the story. Less is more in these kinds of cases. You needed more video....you needed better video for this thing. More because you really needed to focus on getting everything...inside shots, outside shots, better interveiw and more diverse interview composition. You need to change it up...variety in interviews is crucial and knowing how to move inside/outside in a case like this is critical because it literally is taking place inside/outside. You needed better video because you needed more religious suggestive b-roll. Find the christian writing, coloring book, bibles, whatever anywhere and everywhere and get video of it. You say you had two weeks to shot the video so I am guessing you had plenty of time to gather. Very important key shots were also missing...kids getting on and off the bus, close and far exterior shots of the bus, bus arriving and parking...those kinds of things will make a huge difference in helping move the story along because they may all come with nat pops to use and sprinkle throughout the piece. Closing shot was again kinda like the intro...weird. Its a slow-mo shot of a bus making a turn??? Nice idea, poor execution. If that's what you're going for then stand behind the bus and either on a tripod or putting your camera on the floor, let the bus drive away for you. Same idea, better execution. Look for ways to shot from outside the bus to inside and vice versa because those creative shots will help keep it interesting visually. Good topic but video and execution made this kinda blah but you can easily work on some things and tweek it so next time it will be much better.